Uprising January 20th 2016
(Highligts of Royal Rumble play) Segment 1: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEYyH8pmmv4 plays and out comes Will Ospreay with the X Division title as fans cheer him on) Ospreay: Thank you. These past few months have been hard on me. I was taken out by a psychopath, then I fought against a psychopath and his army, I won X-division title, I beat that little snivelling shit TJ Perkins and I did it twice but I realized that I want more. I need a better challenge than Perkins. I need to keep fighting to prepare myself for the future so I'm issuing an open challenge. Anyone in the locker room, come out and lets settle this. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVgbZyCzipA plays as Brian Cage comes out to boos from the fans) Cage: Shut up you midget. I don't give a fuck about you or your plans for revenge but just a tiny part of me cares about that title. You see, when I win that title from you I'll the most powerful man in a division that I hate. And then I will face them one by one, week after week and I will destroy each and every one of them starting with you. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=makG4EI8Owo as the crowd cheers for Aries!!) Aries: Will, congratulations on retaining the title, Cage, go hit some weights, take steroids, do whatever you want but hacks like you have no business in the X-Division. As for you Will, I'd love to challenge you for the title. See, I'm an X-Division veteran. You want to prove yourself here? Why look further than the king? Cage: The only reason you're the king is because I let you beat me on Uprising. Do you remember that or did Ricochet beat that memory out of your brain when he beat you at Winter's War? Aries: My brain is fine but with the steroids you seem to be taking, I don't think your mind is in right shape. I beat you on Uprising because I was better than you, not because you allowed me to. I'm the greatest man that ever lived, and you're...well you're just another guy who hasn't really done anything of importance here. Cage: That's exactly why I hate this little midget division. It's because of people like you two. Aries, you had two crushing PPV losses back to back and you still come out here and you talk big? Ricochet was right, you're nothing Aries. All you do is talk but when it comes to the ring, you fail just like you've done on Chaos. And you Ospreay, you know what the problem with you is kiddo? You're too confident. You come out here with your fighting spirit and your issue your challenges but to be honest, you should be happy you even end up being on the PPV. Being too confident when you're so little can cost you and I'm gonna prove that. Aries: You've been more confident than him and you failed more than anyone on this roster. You lost the KOTR tournament, you lost an opportunity to face Ricochet, you lost the Royal Rumble match, when will you stop? Cage: Until I beat you and him in the FUCKING GROUND! (Paul Heyman appears on screen) Heyman: Gentlemen. Will, you're a fighting champion and you want to defend your title. I respect that. Because of that, you will defend your title at Ragnarok against Cage and Austin Aries in a triple threat match! Match 1: Will Ospreay vs Jack Evans Ospreay wins at 10 minutes with Shooting Star Press Segment 2: (Gail Kim comes out wearing the Uprising Women’s Title on her shoulder. Gail flaunts the title in front of a little girl at ringside and walks to the ring drawing boos from the crowd) Kim: Oh boo me all you want, it really doesn’t matter because none of you women have my title. Being a champion will get me everything I want in my life. Money, fame and most importantly, power. And I'm sorry that all you sluts are jealous of me that much that you have to hide your weakness by booing me and rejecting me for proving that I am the BEST woman in this company. I beat everyone there is to beat in all 3 divisions. I beat a woman you look up to because she has fake breast. I beat a woman from Survival that you all can relate to because she's fat and hideous. I beat a...woman if that's what you can even call her that came out of mental hospital and that looks like she hasn't washed her hair since the day you sluts had your daughters. I beat your favorite, Asuka to win this title and now that I think about it, I should probably think of a nickname for myself. Something appropriate for a champion. I got it. From this day on, I'll be known as The Empress Gail Kim. However, I'm not just the Empress of Tomorrow like Asuka used to be until yesterday, I will be the empress forever. And as a leader of women here, I want to say something to all of you in this arena. You certainly won't be on my level ever in your lives but the best thing you can do is go back to your god forbidden homes, work all day at Walmart for foodstamps and do best in your power to feed your daughters so that one day those who wish to become wrestlers can come here and lace my boots. (Gail rises the title and gets ready to walk to the back but Bayley's music hits as she comes out to the ring. Bayley high fives the little girl at ringside and gives her her headband as she gets into the ring and confronts Kim) Bayley: I may not have won at Royal Rumble - Gail: Shut up you immature bitch. Who the hell are you to interrupt your champion? You're right, you didn't win at Royal Rumble. I'm sure you were going to continue that sentence by saying that I won and I'm even more sure that you were just coming out here to congratulate me for making sure Uprising got the win at Royal Rumble. So out of the goodness of my heart, I'm going to forgive you this time for rudely interrupting me. No one interrupts the Empress - (Sasha Banks' song plays to a mixed reaction) Sasha: No one interrupts the Empress except the Boss. Is this the game we're playing? You finish her sentence, I finish yours then someone else will interrupt mine. Listen to me Gail, you may be the champion and you can call yourself whatever you want but lets be real here. You've been the Empress for couple of minutes now but I've been the Boss for years and I've proven it. I'm here to lay challenge to you for that title. You've beaten everyone else in the rumble but you have no shot against me. Bayley: You didn't last as long as I did in the rumble Sasha - Sasha: I don't give a fuck how long you lasted you little brat. Point is, you lost.' '''Bayley: And I remember you losing to me twice in a row couple of years ago. (Carmella's theme song hits as she walks out with James Ellsworth. Carmella moonwalks on the stage and convinces Ellsworth to do the same. Ellsworth stumbles to the floor but quickly gets up and stands by Carmella) Carmella: My name is Carmella and I am the Princess of Staten Island and in couple of weeks I’ll be the most fabolous women’s champion in all of RRW! And this right here, this is my boo James Ellsworth and you sluts CAN’T! HAVE! THAT! Bada bing, hottest chick in the ring! How you whores doin? Just kidding, I don’t really care how you’re doing. Gail, you may have that title but you don’t have a man as fabulous and sexy as my boo James. And pretty soon, I’ll have both when I take that title off of you. As for you Sasha and Bayley, like why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be in the back fucking each other like you used to? Yeah, I heard the story you whores. I wonder Bayley, can you take a dick as good as that kid at the ringside took your headband? (Brie Bella’s theme hits to a big pop) Brie: Is Uprising ready to experience some BRIE MODE?! Sasha: Oh shut up you backstabbing bitch. You know what, maybe Nikki was right. Maybe you should have died in the womb but then again, maybe she should have died too. (Paul Heyman walks out on the stage) Okay, this is clearly getting out of hand. I appreaciate the confidence and the wilingness to make a claim to the title but I want to settle this peacefully before it takes a turn for the worse. Tonight there will be fatal four way a #1 contender match between Bayley, Sasha Banks, Carmella and Brie Bella and the winner of that will challenge Gail Kim at Ragnarok! Good luck and...please don’t tear the hair away from your opponents or something like that. Keep it civil because so far it’s been anything but civil. '''Match 2: The Addiction (Daniels and Kazarian) vs ReDRagon (Fish and O'Reilly)' Addiction win at 12 minutes with Celebrity Rehab Match 3: KUSHIDA vs Tye Dillinger KUSHIDA wins at 9 minutes with Hoverboard Lock (After the match, KUSHIDA grabs a mic) Segment 3: KUSHIDA: Since arriving here, I’ve always been fighting. I fought one of the most dangerous men Katsuyori Shibata to win this title, I fought a modern day incarnation of a dragon, I fought a man who claims to be perfect, I fought a man who comes from the most gifted wrestling family ever and despite all that, I still feel hungry for competition. So I’m gonna keep it short and just say - if you have the guts, come and face me. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StEfsfOOP7I plays and out comes Silas Young) Young: Just shut up you communist. You think you’ve faced men? No, you haven’t faced a man until you’ve faced me. I’m still in a bad mood because two friends I’ve ever had have been sent to Chaos and even though beating Kenny King’s ass all over the state was nice it doesn’t compare to winning a championship. So here’s my proposal kid. I don’t care when or where but I wanna fight you for that title. I’m tired of hearing everyone praise you. It’s time you prove yourself to a real man. (KUSHIDA nods and raises the title while Silas walks to the back) Match 4: Sasha Banks vs Brie Bella vs Carmella vs Bayley - #1 contender match for the Women’s Title Bayley takes Carmella out with Bayley-to-Belly Suplex while Sasha takes care of Brie with double knee backbreaker. Bayley goes for Bayley-to-Belly but Sasha lands behind her and hits another backbreaker and locks in the Bank Statement. Bayley manages to get Sasha down for the three count but she taps out at the same time. Result: Draw (Sasha and Bayley argue with the referees. Bayley insists she got the pin first before tapping out but Sasha decks her with a right hand and gets into a fight with her!! Referees break them up and carry them backstage) Segment 4: (Sasha and Bayley are in Heyman’s office being restrained by officers while arguing amongst each other. Heyman walks in and dismisses the security while Sasha and Bayley stand at ease) Heyman: So all what it takes for two women to stop fighting is an authority figure walking into the room? If this keeps up I might as well spend half my time besides that ring. If I knew things would get this chaotic the very first night, I wouldn’t have approved women’s division on Uprising. But it is what it is so I’ll solve this pretty quick. You’re both facing Gail Kim at Ragnarok in a triple threat match. Sasha: Bullshit. I won that match. Heyman: If you want to question my decisions I could just take you out of that match and give Bayley a one on one match. (Sasha storms off) Bayley: Thank you so much! I won’t let you down. Heyman: Truth be told, you’re the only woman on my roster who didn’t let me down tonight. You barely talked. I guess it was a good thing. (Bayley walks out of the room) Match: 5: 'Brian Cage vs ACH Cage easily wins at 4 minutes '''Segment 5: ' (Imminent Airstrike's theme hits as Lee and Everett come out to a minor pop) Lee: We've been gone for some time, we know. Things didn't exactly pan out the way we wanted them to. We beat the Young Bucks after that we kind of fell into obscurity but during our time away we trained, we cleared our minds a bit and we're back, ready to climb up to the top! (Sound of imam praying echo through the arena as Sami Callihan and Muhammad Hassan walk out to loud heat!!) Callihan: وصافرات كان أن, سكان ضمنها ومحاولة ذات كل. عليها ماليزيا، ذات تم. فبعد فشكّل القادة ٣٠ تعد, و رجوعهم مواقعها وفي. (English translation comes up on screen) (Be quiet, you infidels, get on your knees, find the direction of Qibla and pray to our great deity, ALLAH! Everett: Dude what the hell is wrong with you? Hassan: فبعد فشكّل القادة ٣٠ تعد, و رجوعهم مواقعها وفي. (How dare you interrupt the holy prayer?!) Callihan: (Forgive my friend. We come in peace. Trevor Lee and Andrew Everett, I understand that you want to make an impact in the Uprising tag team division. Well, we are here to make things explosive in the division as well as spread the word of Allah but despite the powers given to us, we are still just two ordinary men waiting to meet him. We come with a proposition. You call yourselves Imminent Aistrike and I know there's a far more subtle meaning to that name.) Lee: What the hell are you talking about? We call ourselves Immiment Aistrike because it personifies our style of wrestling. We're high flyers, our offense is literally airstrikes. Strikes from the air in case you don't understand. Please don't assume otherwise. Callihan: (Friends, you seem to be having identity crisis. I did too. I was like you two at first, then I went to Chaos where I found my true calling and my true friend Hassan. Then, unfortunately, there was a fight between two brothers but now we are back and we are here to spread the word of Allah and we want you to join us in our crusade.) Everett: Okay, let me make this clear. We're americans. We're good christian boys and we're gonna stay that. I respect your faith but we do not want to spread the word of Allah because that's not what we do. So please, lets end peacefully before things get out of hand. Callihan: (I'm afraid you're wrong my friend. Things have already gotten out of hand with you rejecting our offer. Hassan, lets advance.) (Callihan and Hassan move towards the ring and stand by the apron) (Callihan starts to reach underneath his white robe and grabs something before starting to pull it out) (Everett and Lee immediately get out of the ring ad hop over the barricade as Callihan pulls out Quran and starts praying) Callihan: (You will regret your decision. The Calliphate of Sami Callihan and Muhammad Hassan will conquer the world just as our ancestors did more than a 1000 years ago. Praise be to the great one.) 'Segment 6: ' (The Elite's theme hits. Adam Cole and Kenny Omega walk out with the tag team titles around. Omega sweeps the trash on the floor towards the fans while Cole looks distraught and slowly walks to the ring) Omega: Raise and pay respect to your tag team champions you living, breathing garbage cans. At Royal Rumble there was a lot of cleaning to do but we did our job and now it's time for you to do the same. I literally think of you people as trash cans and where does the trash like American Alpha and The Addiction go? In the trash cans. So go and comfort them, tell them everything's gonna be okay, do whatever you want with them because honestly, you're just like them. Losers. Right Adam? Cole: … Omega: Don't worry, Adam is still feeling a bit tired from the match. He'll be alright. Anyways, now that we took care of our challengers, what's next? New tag team for us to sweep to the deep end of some shithole? But being the good corporate men we are, we'll accept whatever challengers Mr. Heyman has to offer us. Who do you think will challenge us Adam? Cole: … Omega: Hey, you okay man? You've been depressed all week. Talk to me Adam, I might be able to help you. Cole: I saw Chaos few days ago. Omega: Well no wonder you're feeling so sick then. Cole: No, it's not that. It's...it's about Chris. Omega: Oh. That was rough. I understand why you're sad about him. He failed to commit suicide. But hey, maybe next time he'll actually kill himself and you'll feel better. Don't worry, I'm sure he'll do it eventually. Cole: I'm not sad because he didn't kill himself. I'm sad because he tried to kill himself. And it's all because of me. He was my father. I loved him. I did everything for him. I changed my citizenship, I started wearing scarves and then I betrayed him. I nearly caused a man to kill himself. What kind of a man am I? Omega: Okay, you're going through an existential crisis. You're going through a rough patch, everyone goes through one eventually but you've got me now. That betrayal wasn't for nothing. You found a new friend in me. Cole: What's the point of having friends anymore when you've betrayed the best one you ever had? Omega: I don't know if it would help or if it would just bring back the painful memory of Jericho but I could start wearing scarves too… Cole: It wouldn't help. Nothing can console me now. Omega: Look I know this is hard for you but we kinda have to defend these titles and I'd much rather defend them when you're not depressed. (Cole sighs and a tear falls down his eye) Cole: With a tear in my eye I tell you all...that you fucking fell for it. I'M A BIGGER CON ARTIST THAN CHARLES PONZI BAYBAY! YOU THINK PYRAMID SCHEMES ARE FRAUDS? NO, ADAM COLE IS THE REAL FRAUD BAYBAY! WITH A TEAR IN MY EYE I TELL YOU ALL THAT I WISH THAT PIPE DIDN'T BREAK. I WISH CHRIS JERICHO DIED! TIE A NOOSE AROUND YOUR NECK MAANNN! IN FACT, I WISH CHRIS JERICHO DIED IN THE WOMB! TYLER BREEZE, YOU UGLY HOMO, YOU'RE A DISGRACE TO REAL CANADIANS LIKE KENNY AND MYSELF! YOU WANNA HELP THAT FLAT-CHESTED, FAILED ROCKSTAR MOTHERFUCKER?! GO AHEAD AND DO IT! BUT EVENTUALLY YOU'LL SEE THE LIGHT AND YOU'LL LEAVE HIM JUST LIKE I DID! YOU KNOW WHAT KENNY?! I'M SUDDENLY FEELING MYSELF AGAIN BAYBAY!!! SO WHOEVER WANTS TO ATTEMPT SUCIDIDE IN NEAR FUTURE, COME ON DOWN BAYBAY!! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_X424spW0c plays AND EDGE & CHRISTIAN GET TO THE RING TO A LOUD POP!!) Cole: LOOK KENNY, IT'S TWO MORE OLD MOTHERFUCKERS LIKE JERICHO! GENTLEMEN, I THINK YOU MAY HAVE MISTAKEN THIS ARENA FOR A NURSING HOME! THEY TEND TO FELLAS LIKE YOU DOWN THE STREET! I'M SHOUTING AT LOUD AS I CAN, CAN YOU HEAR ME? Omega: I THINK WE HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE THAN TO SHOUT! WHAT'S WRONG GUYS? YOU'RE JUST STANDING THERE. DID YOU MAKE A LITTLE ACCIDENT IN YOUR PANTS? DON'T WORRY, THEY'LL CHANGE YOUR ADULT DIAPERS AT THE NURSING HOME! SOMEONE GET TWO WALKERS DOWN HERE I DON'T THINK THEY CAN STAND FOR MUCH LONGER! (Edge cracks a smile AND THEN SPEARS COLE!!! OMEGA LOOKS IN SHOCK AND GOES AFTER EDGE BUT CHRISTIAN HITS HIM WITH KILLSWITCH!!!) Edge: Keep those titles warm because we're coming for them...baybay. '''Segment 7: (Marty Scurll's theme hits to a mixed reaction. Scurll comes out with the Uprising World Title around his waist, baseball bat and umbrella each in one hand) Scurll: I feel like shit. I feel like I've been hit by a piece of shit which I have courtesy of Ricochet. I feel like I've been with a piece of shit, again thanks to Ricochet and his claws. I feel like I stepped in shit which I did, when I stomped Ricochet and I feel like I hit shit with my fists which was in fact Ricochet's face and through all the shit I've been in, I climbed out of that septic tank that was full of shit and here I stand, holding a shit-stained UPRISING WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!! My face and chest look like they've been scratched by a jealous slut from our prestigious women's division which I respect and admire so much. It's women's revolution right here people. You go girls. I punched Ricochet so hard in the face than when I look at my fingers, they're crooked so much they look like Negan when he bends backwards. I beat that Wolverine rip off that you called your Uprising World Champion. I beat him so much that he's out of his prime right now. He's like Logan now. Maybe I should call him Licochet now. Lickochet? He must be licking his wounds at the hospital right now while I'm standing here and rulling his kingdom that he supposedly usurped from Austin Aries when he beat him. This isn't Game of Thrones bullshit. There are no thrones here, or kings, or weddings that end in a bloodbath though I could arrange for a wedding between Ricochet and a slut in the back so I can kill him for good. Fact is, I beat Ricochet so hard that even the ref had to stop the damn match. This isn't Aries' kingdom anymore and it's certainly not Ricochet's wild jungle. This is my world. I fucking own Uprising. Paul Heyman and Sasha Banks may be the boss here but I'm the god here. I'm God, Jesus, Holy Spirit all in one. Actually, calling myself that makes me look like an egomaniac. I'm God, my umbrella is Jesus and my bat is the Holy Spirit. From now on, I'm the only deity there is here. And this title is my holy grail so if any motherfucker wants to meet his maker, come and see me. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4MzF5Re44M and Zack Sabre comes to a thunderous reaction!!! Sabre slowly gets in the ring then charges after Scurll!!! Scurll tries to fight back but Sabre overpowers him and hits him with dragon suplex!! Scurll retreats to the back while Sabre celebrates in the ring) Segment 8: ''' (Drew Galloway is backstage with William Regal) Galloway: William, I appreacite your help but this isn't going anywhere. Look at me, I'm still the old Drew Galloway who couldn't win to save his life. I was in final 3 at Royal Rumble and the opportunity slipped through my grasp. Regal: You’ll get an opportunity, I’m sure. (Heyman steps in the scene) Heyman: He’s right. You will get an opportunity in about 5 minutes. Now that we have a new champion, we need a new #1 contender. And considering that Zack Sabre has returned and you were the last Uprising member in the Royal Rumble match, I’m making a #1 contender match between you two. Good luck. (Zack Sabre is backstage chatting with members of the roster as Heyman steps in) Heyman: Welcome back. I didn't expect you to come back this soon. Sabre: Neither did he. Heyman: Okay, I feel a little bit of tension here so lets solve it. You should have stayed in that ring because I’ve arranged for a #1 contender match between you and Galloway and it's happening now. (Sabre nods and walks through the curtain) '''Main Event: Zack Sabre Jr. vs Drew Galloway - #1 contender match for the Uprising World Championship Sabre taps out Galloway with guillotine choke at 16 minutes (Sabre celebrates in the ring as Scurll comes onto ramp and points Jesus at Sabre)